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The Violence Meter
A victim support tool that can be used to measure violence in a relationship.
The Violence Meter principle is simple, a scale of values ranging from 1 to 24, from green to red, to indicate what is considered healthy in a romantic relationship or what is harmful or even dangerous. Use the examples on the tool anytime you need to remember the type of behaviors that constitute as violence.
Do you know the signs of domestic abuse and how to safely leave a life-threatening situation? Your relationship partner has hurt you in some way and apologizes, telling you, "It won't happen again." However, you're afraid that it will because this isn't the first time you've heard such an apology. You've told yourself all sorts of stories to excuse their behavior while the physical and emotional scars tell a completely different story. If this resonates with you and your relationship, then you may be experiencing domestic violence. Some relationships are clearly abusive from the beginning. Others may start off subtly and grow progressively worse over time making it difficult to identify the domestic violence right away.
Domestic violence -- also called intimate partner violence -- can happen on different levels: physically (sexual & financial abuse) & psychologically (emotional abuse & threats of abuse). The abuse can happen to anyone in a heterosexual or same sex relationship but is most often directed towards women.
Abusive relationships always reflect an imbalance between power and control where the abuser uses intimidating and hurtful words and behavior to control the other partner. The Power and Control Wheel diagram depicts tactics abusive partners use to keep survivors in a relationship. The inside of the wheel makes up subtle, continual behaviors over time, while the outer ring represents physical and sexual violence. Thus, abusive actions like those depicted in the outer ring reinforce the regular use of other, more subtle methods found in the inner ring.